Tag: Growth

The Unknown

Joyful Dog Mom

I find rest in the unknown (today, not sure about tomorrow).
I am currently going through some changes in my life: career, location, travel, finances, and growth in my relationship. I have been a ball of anxiety and my annual depression has been at an all time high… BUT I feel good today.

I have been praying for peace through this season of my life… grace rather. Grace through the unknown for God to lead me where I’m meant to be. He has given me grace and lifted a few of those small burdens that have been weighing heavy on me (almost feels like bricks laying on my chest, for real). I don’t know how many of you can relate!

I have made some tough decisions through this time and will be forced to grow in those decisions through the next few months… NOT TO MENTION COVID-19 (but lets stand clear of that uncertainty for today). My partner and I have had some really tough conversations and have been moving into a small home with two full households worth of items (not to mention three dogs – two large and one shmedium). It has been stressful to say the least…

What am I going to do for consistent income? Where am I being lead? Why am I here?

And the answers are right in front of me:

“Have I not command you? Be Strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you where you go.”
Joshua 1:9

“For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.”
Micah 7:8

This is the season of waiting, and I’m mean to be here.

XO- Love, Joy, Happiness

The question of why me?

Joyful Dog Mom

I began this blog as an outlet, which I clearly lost sight of… I should have kept it up and I plan to do so. Again, I have been working for the last three years as a Division 1 assistant coach and am transitioning out of coaching currently. A part of me wants to stay in it, fight for the passion, and a part of me feels as if I’m being lead somewhere else. Now, this could mean somewhere back in the same profession or it could mean I am meant to lead elsewhere.

I have always been told “you’re so good with athletes” “you’re so kind and helpful” “you’re very good at what you do” and yet, here I am moving towards a change and down a different road.

So me being a human being, I first feel sorry for myself (as we all do to some degree). And then I am soon reminded by no one other than God himself that I need to be where my feet are.

He sends me very simple reminders: a random text from a friend, unpacking a box and finding a picture of a time I was happy or sad (always a good reminder either way), having my newly-blind dog find his way to me while I’m crying (will post my dudes story soon)…
Whatever it is that reminds me, I know that a lot of people struggle with change. We struggle with our identity… WHO AM I? WHO AM I MEANT TO BE? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?

I am currently changing my identity and let me tell you, it HAS NOT been easy.

My newish fiancé is really trying to find common ground with my highs and lows but she is still here, oh did I mention I am engaged to another woman? Not that this is an issue by any means but my identity has always been something I had to figure out by myself. In the here and now, WHERE MY FEET ARE.

My workouts, my food, my writing, my reading, decisions I make, friends I choose to call… all of these needs to align with what I want. Where I am.

I am excited about my future;
We are moving in together, we are newly vegan (will post about at another time) and we are newly engaged (I can also add our engagement story in another post). And I am finding out what I am made of, outside of collegiate athletics… which has consumed my life for the last 21 years.

At the end of everyday,
God is so good. He gives me grace and He will continue to lead me and my heart – and for that I am thankful.

Love, Joy, Happiness Always (well most of the time)

Seeking Joy in ALL THINGS.

Joyful Dog Mom

Welcome to my public journal, both terrifying and exciting!

I want this journey to be relatable and to be an outlet for myself and anyone reading. Hopefully whoever is meant to read these will end up here, right here with me.

I want to give you some background on my why (briefly) I’m sure you’ll get a little why in every post from this point forward.

I’m here writing to you because who doesn’t struggle with lack of confidence, feeling completely overwhelmed with the occasional WHY AM I HERE AND WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE syndrome? Where our highs are feeling lifted, overcoming obstacles, fighting through any and all adversity…

I can’t say I have completely worked through all of these feelings, I am working through these daily. What I do know is that I’m growing and I am ready for a new season of my life with Him leading the way.

“Whatever you focus on grows. A negative mindset gets deeper and more toxic. A positive mindset brings abundance and gratitude. Choose wisely.” -s.mcnutt

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